4 October, 2019 11:21

There is nothing quite like an old friend. They remind you of your potential. They’ve seen you at your worst. They’ve rejoiced in your highs and stood beside you at your lowest.
These friends call you out on your bullshit, give you another perspective on an issue and hold space for you as you try to figure yourself out.
You know you have a true friend when you haven’t seen them in months / years and you can pick up right where you’ve left off.
I’m very blessed to have friends from all walks of life over the years, I may not see them for years but when we reconnect, it’s as if it was yesterday when we last spoke!
I spent most of my life in conditional, one sided friendships.
Constantly being the giver, whilst secretly feeling resentful of the unbalanced relationship I had attracted. Yes, you read that right.
I ATTRACTED these people.
Some were only friends with me because of how I could help them. I would only hear from them when they needed something.
Some were heavily codependent and god forbid we have a discussion about their issues…. Denial isn’t just a river in Egypt!
The more the elephant in the room grew, the more suffocating & stagnant the friendship became.
I’ve spoken before about ghosting in relationships. Yet it happens frequently in friendships, quite often without any explanation to the recipient. They find themselves blocked, unfriended and rejected. Cast upon the scrap heap of unwanted friendships.

I’ve ended toxic friendships & I’ve also been ghosted. I’ve also experienced a mutual ghosting, whereby there was no need for any further discussion…the friendship was over.

The common denominator in all cases, was that I finally woke up and called the ‘friend’ out on their bullshit. It didn’t go down very well! Why would it?
When you take an active role in a one sided friendship -the receiver is happily receiving….your time, your advice , your generosity etc.
Certain individuals masquerade under a helpful charade, sending the odd friendly text or pm. The only time they lift the phone is when they want something from you…. Talk is cheap and so is positive intentions! Actions speak louder then words. Another aspect is that life’s givers tend to have major problems receiving.
If you find you have an issue accepting a compliment , asking for advice or defining a healthy boundary with your friends…..look around your circle. I guarantee there will be a covert narcissist in it.
Covert Narcs thrive on unsolicited advice. They are always right. They are incredible at mimicking empathy but they lack any trace of such emotion. Any project you undertake must get their approval, they must help you or will simply turn up uninvited “to sort you out!”.
You will feel under constant obligation to this individual. Any help you receive from this person will end up being paid back tenfold with a peppering of passive aggressive comments thrown in for good measure at your expense. You will find yourself compared to other more helpful individuals.
A major indicator that you have a covert narc around is that you feel very drained or disempowered around them. You will also be waiting for the ‘hook’…the real reason they called you!
You also realise you no longer confide in them, as your secrets are used against you as an example of your failures or the blatantly disregard your privacy. To your horror you realise it’s open season on your private life.

Narcs hate boundaries.
They have a sense of entitlement to you. They feel threatened by your other friends and will try to plant seeds of doubt about their loyalty, even telling mahoosive lies to get you to fall out with them. Then they have you all to themselves. All that energy supply just for them to feed off!
The minute you begin to push back you will incur their wrath. You will be called ungrateful & disloyal, they may even drop you completely, (they will only do this if they’ve another energy supply lined up).
You may feel rejected and simply wanting space. They might take you back only after you’ve apologized profusely and they will dine off this indiscretion on your part for months!
Sometimes we put up with this treatment as we find ourselves alienated. When you loose your confidence, you don’t feel at your best. It makes it difficult to break out of your comfort zone. All you want to do is retreat away from an uncaring world.
You need to be honest with yourself. It’s time to work on your boundaries and self love. Get a therapist , take a class, get outside & connect with nature.
Reconnect with yourself , family , hobbies or old friends. Don’t settle for half arsed Frenemies who couldn’t care less about you.
How about you start by being your own best friend. For only then can you recognize yourself in others.

©️Fiona Ní Mhuirri

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By Fiona Faery

3 September, 2019 11:20

The term ghosting in the dictionary is defined as:.
the practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication.

Picture the scenario you’ve been seeing this wonderful guy for several dates. You may have each other’s numbers, usually WhatsApp etc. You may have met online and done some C.S.I. style research on him.
So far you like what you see, you feel yourself opening up to him, talking about hopes & dreams for the future. You make plans for the coming weekend.
The following day you hear nothing, but not wanting to be clingy give him space. The day after nothing but you make excuses thinking he must be busy. Later that evening you go to send a “U OK?” text and realize it’s not reading as read. How odd you think. Paranoia begins to creep in and you check Facebook and various other apps and the startling realization, that you have been completely blocked online dawns on you. Your last Facebook message simply has a grey icon with Facebook user on it where his picture was before.
You’re confused, wondering has he been hacked or has something worse happened, so you get your friend to check their profile on their phone and by magic they reappear once more.
That’s when the confusion gets replaced by the sharp sting of rejection. You forensically go through every text message, frantically replaying every conversation in your head, scrambling for a clue as to why they cut you off. You have been ghosted.

“The biggest coward is a man who awakens a woman’s love without the intention of loving her” -Bob Marley

It is an act of complete narcissistically driven selfishness to ghost someone. You must have the emotional range of a teaspoon to cut another human being off without so much as a thought to their feelings. Sadly this is all too common. Cancel culture is all about instant judgement. You literally guillotine your way through dates. Seeking your ideal perfect mate.

If you have ghosted someone you are an asshole. The worst kind.
It is an act of immense cruelty to lead another person on without having any intention on following through with your words.
Yes it extremely squirm & uncomfortable having to tell another that you’re just not into them, but you are also showing character & consideration for that person by not leading them on.
I’ve listened, while a guy I was dating a few weeks shouted at me how angry & hurt he was that I was ending it. It was extremely awkward but I gave my reasons as clear & succinctly as possible before we went our separate ways.

No one wants to be the bad guy. The wheel of life will always turn. You will get to be the dumper at some point and the dumped at another. Do unto others as you would have done unto you…isn’t that how it goes?

By being clear about how you feel (or lack of), you give the other person clarity (closure will come later) of where they stand with you. You both walk away from the encounter with a better idea of what you are looking for in a partner.

If you are reading this and you’ve been ghosted. You need to know that you are enough and you always have been. Don’t let it stop you going out on dates. Surround yourself with good friends who remind you of why you’re such a great person to be around.
Normal people don’t run around causing harm to others. I truly feel individuals who ghost others have narcissist personality traits. A Narcissist will always portray themselves as the ideal soulmate you’ve been searching for. The will quickly ascertain if you are the ideal prey that fits their ‘type’. Usually kind, passive, eager to please and bend to their will. Anyone who displays a sense of independence or god forbid….boundaries is akin to Kryptonite to a Narc! They will ghost you quicker then you can hit unfriend! You have dodged a bullet!
Well done!
I know it may not feel like it right now, but your spirit has deflected a wounded soul. Not to mention sparing you ten times the heartbreak down the road.
Instead of analyzing why you weren’t good enough, how about you realise you’ve just dodged a seriously shallow individual and get right back out there and shine your gorgeous light for all to see!
Let it be a valuable lesson in holding on to your power and not trying to ‘fit’ into the ideal partner mould for your date.
The right person will love you for exactly who you are. Those who ghost others are haunted by their own demons of perfection.
They are more to be pitied. Waste no more time on the woulda, coulda, shoulda‘s. Lesson learned, chalk it down to experience and onwards!

©️Fiona Ní Mhuirri

By Fiona Faery

20 August, 2019 10:42

I was talking to a good friend the other night. We were reminiscing about old times and I was going back to the time I first stepped on stage and made my first connection with spirit. I had made a very clear decision that weekend, that if I found no evidence of an afterlife or that I had no ability…I was going to seriously look into my mental health, as my entire life I had felt, heard & knew things before they happened.
I remember my body being used as a pendulum and a gentle ‘push’ forward for a yes and back for a no. I was incredulous as my recipient could take all my information. Years of repressed ability started to pour from me, I could feel how a person died, names & personalities of people in spirit.
After a simple weekend away, I had found my life’s calling.
But here’s the funny thing, as I began to learn how spirit worked with me, I also learned how our ego is a real active force. How our thoughts can shape our realities. The ego grows alongside the soul during your lifetime…to commit to mastering it, you must join a monastery or nunnery, as all distractions need to be eliminated from your life.
For in the real world,
Bills have to be paid, chores have to be completed , kids have to be washed and work has to be done!
We wouldn’t get out of bed if it wasn’t for the ego! The ego makes us get into the shower, choose our clothes, it fuels our ambitions & desires (& our tempers!).
It helps us set healthy boundaries in our lives. In balance, it works harmoniously with the soul.
When it falls out of balance, it uses it’s master weapon fear to permeate your thoughts. Jealousy of another’s success, greed for more then your neighbour, vengeance on those perceived slights on you and so on….
Ever have a really satisfying bitching session? That’s your ego lashing out to make another appear small while you feel superior..
There’s usually a deeper issue going on under the surface. It could be a trait you admire about the person or you’ve been triggered in some way by them, sometimes perhaps these negative traits were in that person all along and you decided to take it personally.
When I find myself getting angry,
I have learned to sit with my anger. My anger wants to lash out, my soul wants to understand. Underneath my anger is confusion, and sometimes under the confusion is fear or sadness…
Two weeks ago, I had another conversation with another, about fraudulent readers. It made my blood boil. Several Individuals I knew through personal experiences, down through the years that lacked any form of personal , never mind professional integrity.
I was informed about even more of their transgressions and was horrified. The conversation was in the strictest of confidence and will remain so, but I found myself shaking my head at such blatant crooks.
I could feel myself being pulled into the dumps of disillusionment. Trust me…every medium goes through this every once in a while.
You find yourself wondering what’s the point? You do your best and utter swindlers are out there doing Facebook lives with ten times the amount of followers and giving the hard sell that makes my teeth stand on edge..
I. Just. Can’t.
A sense of hopelessness overwhelmed me. (Usually brought on by certain full moons..this time it was bang on schedule).

Thankfully I had some time off coming up and there was a definite sense of divine timing, as I got a call in the middle of the night to inform me a loved one had been rushed to hospital.
Nothing like a sense of perspective from the universe. As I was brought into a private family room, familiar faces greeted me, aunt’s, uncles, cousins…
I felt very calm, so I knew my loved one would be ok…but In those moments you doubt yourself. I had been feeling funny for the past few days and as the week progressed it began to make sense to me. ( my loved one is on the road to recovery now).
There are strong women in my family and I’m blessed to have aunts who are like big sisters to me as I’m the eldest grandchild.
Last week was all about family as I got to spend a lot of it with my immediate family.
Old memories recounted, meals shared, tears of laughter!
Everything else I was annoyed about before vanished, as it meant nothing….simply an illusion of fear my ego decide to occupy my time with. I could feel my sense of purpose returning. The joy and the honour of serving spirit. The kick I get out of reading cards! The gratitude for getting to do what I love for a living.
But most importantly it does not define me. I am not defined by it.
I am defined by the people I love and the ability to give & receive love in this lifetime.
I’m responsible for my karma in this lifetime not anyone else’s. I intend to stay in my lane and work on bettering myself, but am so grateful for this divine insight into the bigger picture…..

©️Fiona Ní Mhuirri

By Fiona Faery

7 August, 2019 10:07

No.
It’s a simple two letter word.
Yet, it is for so many people the most difficult word for them to say.
Clients of mine will put themselves under extreme stress simply not to utter this little word.
We pride ourselves on being a good person, yet sadly there can be conditional undertones on the value placed on us (and make no mistake by us) on the roles we play within our families, communities & wider relationships.
They say wisdom is wasted on the young, for as we age we begin to shed such conditioning. We consciously begin the process of shedding the husk of illusion of who we are supposed to be in the eyes of those around us. We start to care more of how we view ourselves.
Our energy reserves, that were consistently bled out for the good of others , have entered a reservoir of self awareness.
Once we make the transition from external awareness to internal awareness EVERYTHING CHANGES! Every single relationship in your life will become transformed. It’s a messy, painful process. For some it can take years, for others it can take a epitomizing moment….

No one can walk in your shoes.
No one knows what you have truly lived through and the decisions that have brought you to this moment. Other people may advise you.
Indeed, you must decide for yourself whether that advice is good for you & lathered with good intentions or soaked in agenda.

We fear the worse in saying No.
We think we will be seen as selfish, guilty, deceitful, obnoxious, spoilt, bratty, nasty, disingenuous, false, as having notions and looking down our noses or simply not caring.

Nothing could be further from the truth. For the selfish couldn’t care less what people think, and happily move on to drain the next person’s kindness & time, without a single thought for their welfare or addressing any sort of karmic balance. For those of us that care, addressing our own needs brings with it a lifetime of times we pushed them aside and isn’t it simply easier to say yes…?
Each to their own, but if your yes comes with a heavy heart…you are already paying a high price.
There are times in life, where sacrifice is called for. It’s a natural part of life & every relationship.
Yet if you’re in a relationship with an alcoholic you know the price wanting a quiet life commands of you. Having to turn a blind eye to your partners addiction and having to hide/ cover up transgressions from loved ones.
If you’re in a relationship with a partner who abuses you. There is a complicated dance you must perform to loved ones & colleagues, who can see you becoming more withdrawn.
If your family are putting pressure on you to behave a certain way or you’ve fallen into the go-to zone , you will have a sense of not being able to break the mold and let someone else step up for a change.

All of the above are emotional and sometimes financial straight jackets. You don’t simply find yourself in this situation overnight, it can take years of being slowly worn down. It can also destroy hope. The hope of ever being able to freely love and say no… For indeed love is about truth.
It’s not all flowers & roses or Brady bunch model family values.
It’s about telling someone you love they are being an asshole. It’s about sitting down with a family member and talking about their addiction. In some cases it may be showing that family member the door. “A mother would never turn her back on her son”.
Actually , the single greatest act of love would be this wake up call. As an addict / abuser will try every emotional blackmail in their arsenal to guilt trip their family into giving them another chance, they will sink as low to use your perceived status in your community as a threat. “If only they knew”.
You can stay trapped inside a toxic dynamic out of fear of what others may think of you. It is only when you shift from the external validation into the inner can you truly bring about massive change in your life. Here’s two facts:
1. You are a good person.
2. Everyone is going through some form of a struggle in their lives they just don’t show it.

Certain People will think bad of you when you say No. You have to ask yourself do you truly value their opinion of you or do you value your self worth and sanity more? Please choose you..
I’m rooting for you to choose you..

©️Fiona Ní Mhuirri

By Fiona Faery

6 August, 2019 10:06

I never talk about my mentors as sadly I’ve had very painful & valuable lessons from them. I would not change a single thing about those lessons as I wouldn’t be the person I am now, and I wouldn’t be able to give the insight I have without them.
I learned the lesson of forgiveness from my best friend who bought my website domain behind my back & slandered my character as they had felt I’d become ‘too big for my boots’ and took it upon themselves to ‘teach me a lesson I wouldn’t forget’.
I had to forgo a .com domain name and establish .ie which in turn made all my transactions to be declared and my business to become more regulated.
After the betrayal, years later I understood their resentment of me. I’m able to cherish the laughter, the chats and the preciousness of that friendship. I still wear my bracelet.
I will carry the memory of what was forever in my heart.
Moments before I stood on stage with another mentor…they asked me had I yet linked in with spirit. I could feel the hum of the audience and the excitement of spirit stepping through…the name ‘john’ popped into my head, closely followed by ‘Dad’, then ‘cancer’.
I was ready to work!
I relayed this to my mentor as we stepped on to the stage with rapturous applause from the audience. My mentor informed the audience we were going to bring in two links from spirit.
They asked the audience,
“I’ve a gentleman called John, standing beside me, he’s a dad and he passed with cancer….who do you have Fiona?”

You really can’t make this shit up! I remember the song Gloria in my head and immediately knew I had a lady called Gloria and a cancer connection. If it wasn’t for my complete love & trust in spirit , my ego would’ve put me in panic mode and I would’ve been frozen to the spot like a deer in the headlights.
My faith in spirit carried me through. I learned the lesson of trust in that moment.
Again, years later I can see the lesson so clearly and I wouldn’t change a thing.
Betrayal never comes from a stranger…it’s always at its most potent when it’s from someone you love or hold in highest regard.

We have all been betrayed at some point, indeed you may have been the betrayer.
The lesson is at its most valuable when you can integrate it into the fabric of your life…rather then it becoming a martyrs center piece or let bitterness rot you from the inside out.
Years later I had a phone reading with my former mentor. It was one of the most inaccurate readings I’d ever had and during it they said statements such as “you must be so frustrated you’re not famous by now”.
I thanked them for their time and knew I would never be in contact with them again, as I realized we were world’s apart in what each other’s definition of success was.
I saw how cutthroat it was amongst ‘celebrity’ mediums and I wanted no part of it.

I can happily stand here today and say my success as a Medium has been through hard work and word of mouth.
People are drawn to me as a psychic intuitive as they know I don’t judge and will hold a space for them to acknowledge their truth.

My success, is at being able to communicate love. To being honest with my family. To loving them and myself as best I can, in a balanced, principled & wholesome way.
In letting the people I love, know I love them. In being grateful in the present moment. I’ve watched good people die and was given the gift of gratitude as a result.
That’s success.
I’m not going to have the world’s most accurate psychic on my tombstone…..the speeches in my funeral analogy won’t be about my career. It will be about how I loved and how I was able to express that love in this lifetime…

©️Fiona Ní Mhuirri

By Fiona Faery

31 July, 2019 11:32

Over the years I have crossed paths with some dubious characters.
I’ve worked in psychic fairs whereby other readers undercut each other, watched open mouthed as clients in my queue were approached for business, seen stand offs with other readers and all manner of unprofessional behaviour.
I’ve been in the presence of famous mediums and seen characters been defamed with all manner of accusations & gossip.
I withdrew quickly from the circuit of spiritualistic churches and circles as I witnessed first hand how bitchy and spiteful people can be to each other.
Lastly, I continuously experienced it firsthand myself. The more established & successful I became, the more the resentment grew, until my inner circle became just one person…me.

I’ve made so many mistakes.

I’ve Walked away from situations without speaking my truth, because I was too frightened to be hurt any more or couldn’t stand to hear what might be said.

The more I ignored my truth, the more the lessons came in a different shape or guise…but still the same lesson…just another teacher.

The lesson I began to learn was about boundaries.
I had placed a shame value on the word “No”. I felt if I didn’t say yes to everything that made me a bad person or very unspiritual.
I bore witness to characters being slated and said nothing as I didn’t wish to offend anyone (not realising this made me complicit).
It also made me vulnerable and incredibly attractive to narcissistic personality types. I found myself attracting psychic vampires, constantly being the ‘perfect’ friend , dutiful daughter, cheerful colleague , nice neighbour without being able to define my own personal space and hold on to my own opinions.
I was a sponge…attracting one sided friendships, taking on unwelcome demands on my time, pockets & heart..not to mention my sanity! As I began to grow and learn, I heard a useful expression:

Your yes has no value if you can’t say no!

I began to realise that every single relationship in my life at that point had turned toxic. I was toxic.
I had become bitter and resentful, as I had consistently failed to honour my time & energy , so I ended up completely spent & drained.
I blamed everyone else for my pain, missed opportunities , failed friendships and relationships.

Most importantly, I had failed myself. I had ignored my gut instincts, boldly marched through red flags and was completely emotionally dyslexic to the writing on the wall!
I was an active participant in my own downfall. I cared so much what people thought of me that I was emotionally spent. I got sick…
I watched my health slip through my hands and a misdiagnosis saw it slip further away. My lungs became as heavy as rocks and I was out of breath by the time I got to the top of my stairs. At one point I was on 3 inhalers and I dreaded the night as sleep was out of the question.
I understand why folk think they are cursed when everything in life goes against you , because it really feels like that at the time.
I had no other choice but to take it slow. I stopped working evenings, I stopped a lot of travel , I stopped talking people’s word as their bond and I started to work on myself.

A funny thing happened.
People started to travel to me, online readings took off,
Facebook lives replaced the radio.
Deposits deterred flaky clients.
One sided friendships dissolved.
I started to get better.
As I started to get better, I started to take responsibility for my actions. I’ve caused pain.
I contacted those that I wished to have in my life and had some of the most difficult conversations I’ve ever had. I learnt so much about myself.
Those who were meant to stay…stayed, those that were not..quickly left my life.
You see here’s the thing. When you get honest with yourself, you get real honest with those around you. I don’t mean a tactless, crude “I’ll tell it like it is”, approach. I simply don’t have time for bullshit, don’t slate someone in my presence if you’re not prepared for me to say it to the person, or whine about how unfair life is without getting up off your arse to try. Don’t smile to my face while bitching behind my back, because guess what…I know!

The more sensitive I became to my own needs, the more nourishment I gave my body & soul, the more comfortable I got in listening to my bodies red flags, when someone was lying, I trusted my intuition..and guess what? I was right!
When someone attempted to give me ‘helpful advice’..I’d spot their agenda a mile off and thanked them but didn’t take any of it on board.

The more I trusted myself , the happier I became.
I swatted opinions away like a pesky fly, whereas before I would’ve analyzed it forensically.

I still have bad days.

There’s still the odd day where I say yes instead of no, but I’m gentle on myself when I slip…I make a mental note and move on or I address an issue at a later time. I’m far less quick to anger..I’ve even been known to say “I’m angry at this moment just give me space to process!!!” Which for this taurean Bull is massive! It takes a lot to make me angry but when I charge I’m looking for blood…so that’s incredibly significant!
I’m beginning to have less regrets as I get older. I wouldn’t trade my boundaries for all the tea in China!
As I Drew that line in the sand, I never realised I would find myself at the end of it..

©️Fiona Ní Mhuirri

By Fiona Faery

21 June, 2019 11:45

One of the most regular questions I am asked is “Will I meet my Soulmate?” I feel I need to clarify what having a soulmate in your life means.
One things for sure, it ain’t the romantic Hollywood stereotype most people envisage! Firstly we have many soulmates!
A soulmate does not have to be a romantic partner either, just someone who has massively influenced/ impacted your life. A soulmate comes into your life to help you fulfill your divine purpose.
All our lessons are different. What comes easy to one person can be a struggle for another. Our lessons come in many guises, for example you can only learn the virtue of patience by having it tested or the virtue of courage by being faced with adversity.
There is an intense , passionate connection with soulmates. Sadly, with these intense feelings also are intense opinions.
Soulmates press each others buttons, yes we placed those buttons there to begin with, but one look from your soulmate will either turn you on or will wind you up!!!
Communication is the key for these relationships to succeed. If two soulmates can navigate the tricky seas of past scars of rejection, broken trust, fear of commitment, control issues together by sharing their feelings in an open , non judgmental manner they are destined for success.
Make no mistake a soulmate relationship in its power is a very beautiful sight to behold. We all know a couple who are meant to be together and also a couple who constantly bicker.
The latter is the negative aspect of the soulmate relationship . It becomes a power struggle . The need to be constantly right, the co-dependent relationship, the passive aggressive relationship.
These issues can be worked through but they take two people who both want to stay together to make this happen.
Soulmates can be friends too. You could have a friend that was as close (perhaps even closer ) as a family member and they could betray you in a way you could not believe them capable of. This is also true of friends who come into our lives to help when we most need it!
These individuals are from our soul circle & we have known them over many lifetimes. They assist us in mapping out our life-chart and make an appearance where help or a life lesson is required.
Again with our gift of free will we can choose to become victims or martyrs to the cause, or we can see it simply as a valuable lesson & move forward with our lives.
For the soulmate card to wander into your life today, if your single it means a great passionate love is coming. Buckle your seatbelt, stay true to who you are & do not lose yourself in another before you are sure of their intentions.
If you are smiling sagely as you’re already in one, keep those communication lines open, don’t let issues build up, make time for each other.
Lastly , if you’re just out of a soulmate relationship. Take heart you will love again just as passionate & intensely as before. You need to take time to heal your heart & rebuild your self esteem. Acknowledge the lesson that came about with this relationship & begin to look to the future. Don’t focus on what you don’t want in a relationship, focus on what your heart yearns for. One things for sure, life with a soulmate is never dull!!

©Fiona Faery

By Fiona Faery

19 June, 2019 08:50

In the wake of the me-too movement and women winning rights to bodily autonomy, there is still another bastion of patriarchy that only we as women can address ourselves…. Slut shaming.
Women’s bodies have long been the symbols of religious purity and political commodity as their chaste nature was a form of social currency and prestige within a community.
Magdalene laundry’s were for the fallen women. Pariahs Of society…and were demoted by their lack of virtue. Indeed, after the war had ended women who were accused of fraternizing with the enemy had their heads shaved or were tarred and feathered. What is not written about as much, is that it was also used as a tool to control women and assert masculine dominance into society again.

The undertones are simple
Women aren’t meant to enjoy sex.
Those of us who speak about it or openly admit to enjoying sex or wanting sex are slut shamed. Yet if a man discusses sex the double standard is implied.
If a woman has many sexual partners she’s a slut….if a man has he’s one of the boys!

Yet its amongst women where this societal slut shaming is still pervasive, and a woman can still be alienated by her peers if she’s open about having one night stands or a high sex drive etc.

Where did we start to turn against each other?
Why are we collectively threatened by another women’s sexual prowess?

In sexual assault cases what the victim was wearing is often called into account.

Think you’ve never slut shamed? Think again…
“Did ya see the antics of your wan on love island”
“Did you hear who slept with so & so”
“She’s asking for it dressed like that”
“Sluuuuuut”

It’s been over 21 years since Monica lewinsky was the most googled woman on planet earth. Her mother had her shower with the bathroom door open in case she finally decided to die from the public’s shame campaign.
Slane girl in 2017 were a young girl giving fellatio to two young men went viral, ended up with the hospitalization for her breakdown.

A lesbian couple were recently viciously assaulted on a bus in England as they refused to endure lewd comments from a group of males.

Once we as women stray from the scripted ideals of how we are supposed to act, feel and love brings down a heavy condemnation……from other women.

We need to look at our attitudes to female pleasure. It feels as if we are stuck in the same puritanical patriarchal values that keep us fighting amongst ourselves.

I’m no fan of outrage culture. In these times of click & share. Twitter is alive with faceless trolls hiding behind blue screens tweeting the vilest poison humanity can dredge up. Cancel culture directs millions to unsubscribe & publicity drag an individual’s character across a million timelines, in many cases without substantiation. We are becoming desensitized.
Empathy & kindness.
Acceptance & tolerance
Think before you comment or post (or re-share!).
There can be fatal consequences for the victims of slut shaming. As a society we need to move toward embracing our sexuality & sensuality.
I wish you all many wonderful orgasms with whatever & whoever & wherever the moment takes you….

©️Fiona Ní Mhuirri

By Fiona Faery

12 June, 2019 15:42

I want to talk about bullies….
Bullies are usually incredibly insecure individuals who lift themselves up by bringing others down.
The gossip on your street who discusses your business behind your back. The office bully who uses their position as leverage.
Teenage girls hiding behind a group chat of slander. Cardboard gangsters thinking there’re the next white version of Tupac filming young teenagers being beaten in a car so they can look good….
Most of you will nod your head reading this…but what would you do if it was your son or daughter being bullied or the bully? Would you share/ tag the video?
Would you spread the gossip?
Would you step in?
By sharing/tagging the memes/ snapchats/ screenshots YOU ARE COMPLICIT.
By standing by as another human no matter what age gets publicly humiliated YOU ARE JUST AS GUILTY. So what do you do?
If it’s on Facebook report immediately as any form of violence is against their standards. If you recognise the person….fuck your….you ok Hun? Text Ring the relevant authorities
Take screenshots
If you know the names of the bullies don’t assume the family do. Contact them. Volunteer information.
There are too many young people dying through suicide, for their horrified family to find out afterwards that their beautiful child was being picked on.
If you work in an office and witness it…don’t thank your lucky stars it’s not you. Stand up for that person. The more you do…others will follow. It takes courage.
It takes integrity.
It’s frightening.
Yet no one can take your strength of character from you.
The victim who is the target of the bully will know people cared enough to speak up. It creates a chain reaction. A school policy is founded, a hr regulation gets passed and a community comes together to defend their young against the dredges of humanity. End the silence.

©️Fiona Faery

By Fiona Faery

16 May, 2019 14:56

On my holidays with the mammy..Loving endless days filled with books, croissants & coffee.
Mum & I found a sheltered spot to read our books each morning.
The hotel cat also found us and proceeded to jump onto my lap & begin an intense grooming process of herself much to my amusement.
After she received much cuddles, she retired to the end of the sofa for a snooze.
I immersed myself in my book, to only witness a stream of different hotel guests, from different nationalities & many different languages….coo & fuss over my new feline friend. It was so heartwarming to see. Even though we didn’t speak the same language, we all understood each other perfectly. We all thought she was a complete character and brought all of us that are owned by furry familiars (and missing them) together……
Love is truly a universal language❤️

©️Fiona Ní Mhuirri

By Fiona Faery