Drugs affects every single class & walk of life. It does not discriminate. I’ve sat across countless family members whose lives have been torn apart by a loved one who is an addict. I’ve read for countless recovering addicts who literally take it one day at a time.
It can be so difficult to separate the disease of addiction from the addict. For addicts will sell anything that holds any value to score. Objects that hold massive sentimental value to a family are a quick source of cash to an addict. An addict will rob from their mother’s purse, lie, cheat & steal. The addiction takes hold and tunnel vision ensues…fixating on how they will get their next fix.
Debts begin to build with various dealers, black eyes are passed off as random encounters. At this point the erratic nature in the addicts personality rings alarm bells in family members. They lose weight and have lost all aspirations or concern for their appearance.
Entire friendship groups become riddled with joint addiction.
There is a dealer with a few yards of where you live right now. It is an epidemic. If you’re lucky enough not to have an immediate family member affected by it, I guarantee it will affect a relation.
The shame a mother feels when she finds out her son or daughter has an addiction. Her immediate reaction is to blame herself. If she could only of done something sooner or stopped it earlier.
It is not your fault.
An addict needs love as well as boundaries. Helplines such as drugs.ie provide helpful advice and can link you in to services.
Sadly, the services in this flailing health system are limited. Ultimately it falls back on the family to surround the addict with support.
In certain African tribes, when a baby is born… the tribe sings a unique song to that child. That song is sung at birthdays & celebrations, but also when the child commits offences against the tribe.
For it is only the tribe that can remind the child of their song that they may have forgotten.
Indeed it is the child that must accept responsibility for their recovery and embrace their destiny.
If you are reading this and are struggling to cope with a loved one that is in the chokehold of addiction , it is actions not words you need to believe, if they ask for help – listen. Know above anything else they cannot hear their song right know. Their soul is fragmented and you need to remind them of their potential. Protect yourself. An addict uses their intelligence to emotionally manipulate. Link in with services to help you. Nar-Anon & family support groups are there to offer support. You will meet many in the group who have lived your future. Get as much support that is available to you at this time.
An addict can not recover without the support of loved ones. Please know that inside that addict is your loved one struggling to remember their song, it’s times like this you need to remember your song and ask for help…..
©️Fiona Ní Mhuirri