There is a lecherous group of people that prey on the innate kindness of others. They are drawn to seek out the sweetest, nicest individuals. Usually the people they are drawn to are codependent/ have codependent traits, have issues setting boundaries etc.
Did you know 1 in 25 people are sociopaths. Sociopaths thrive on manipulating people. Obliging individuals are used as disposable pawns for their bidding.
They detest people who have boundaries, opting to seek out kind helpful souls who will carry out their conditional demands unconditionally!!!!
How do you know you have a sociopath in your life? They thrive on drama, often have no regard for rules or societal norms. Will change relationships / friendship groups quite often as they can’t keep
Up the illusion for very long. They are manipulators & liars, throwing anyone under the bus so they don’t have to accept responsibility for their callous actions. A sociopath has a high retention for obtaining emotional data & will happily research their subjects, perusing their Facebook pages, social media to gain as much knowledge as possible on their subject. They possess an uncanny likeability & charm. You simply can’t help liking them, even though they seem to land themselves in situations most of us would never find ourselves in. The other aspect here is that they have a complete lack of regard to your personal safety etc as they can be irrational & spontaneous. The sociopath can’t for the life of themselves plan ahead. Unless that is of course, they have people around them they can manipulate to do this!
There is never a dull moment with these individuals. They are great storytellers & they bring the p to a party. Being around them the world feels brighter. If you suffer from low self esteem & don’t like attention on you, it’s crack cocaine for them. They have a captive audience & the focus is on them. They will help you if they have an agenda. They will have no problem reminding you of how they helped you. Their relationships are conditional. When you have fulfilled your use, the sociopath discards you. You will be ghosted at the flip of a coin with zero conscience on their part.
The devastation in the lives of those they have used, the confusion & betrayal friends & lovers feel. I’ve had clients referred to counselling as they simply couldn’t understand how another human being could be so cruel. The reality of the aftermath, as the realisation it had all been a lie is heart breaking to witness.
Understandably, you become incredibly wary of other humans and are very careful of who you place your trust in.
Unfortunately, some continuously place their trust in the wrong people again & again. Failing to see that the common denominator here is themselves. Statements such as “I always end up getting used”, or “I attract the wrong kind of men”, are loaded with a victim mentality that is crippling to self realisation.
No is a full sentence.
That horrible feeling in your gut that something is wrong is 100% accurate.
Trust your vibes.
Kindness costs nothing. A kind word, a thoughtful act.
When someone performs a kindness for you, that has no agenda or thoughts of receiving- you are touched to the core.
All too often we are disappointed, as we have made the classic error of projecting our integrity on to those who do not possess it.
By setting healthy boundaries with everybody in our lives, really sorts the takers from the givers.
There’s an old saying:
Stop crossing oceans for those who wouldn’t cross a puddle for you!
For those of us who believe in Balance, are happy when our loved ones set boundaries. For when we do respect follows.
Setting boundaries with sociopath / narcissistic personality types you are likely to encounter a rage you’ve never witnessed before. They will have an adult tantrum & will literally throw their toys out of the cot.
How dare you set boundaries!
The cheek of you!
Have you no idea how long it took to select & groom you to my liking?
They will immediately try to Shame & guilt trip you into apologizing for YOUR BAD JUDGEMENT!!!!!!
You will be gas-lighted back into submission……sound familiar?
Since the odds are so high, chances Are most people reading this will have experienced an encounter with a sociopath at some point. One thing to remember is they cannot experience empathy in any way.
You need to remember the lesson they have taught you & get as far away from them as physically possible. They will never change. Oh and if you were thinking counselling would help…they will use the cognitive tools taught in therapy to manipulate to an even higher degree!!!!
You deserve love.
You deserve respect.
If you are sitting at a table where neither of these dishes are being served….leave the goddamn table!
©️Fiona Ní Mhuirri
Sent from my iPad