19 June, 2019 08:50

In the wake of the me-too movement and women winning rights to bodily autonomy, there is still another bastion of patriarchy that only we as women can address ourselves…. Slut shaming.
Women’s bodies have long been the symbols of religious purity and political commodity as their chaste nature was a form of social currency and prestige within a community.
Magdalene laundry’s were for the fallen women. Pariahs Of society…and were demoted by their lack of virtue. Indeed, after the war had ended women who were accused of fraternizing with the enemy had their heads shaved or were tarred and feathered. What is not written about as much, is that it was also used as a tool to control women and assert masculine dominance into society again.

The undertones are simple
Women aren’t meant to enjoy sex.
Those of us who speak about it or openly admit to enjoying sex or wanting sex are slut shamed. Yet if a man discusses sex the double standard is implied.
If a woman has many sexual partners she’s a slut….if a man has he’s one of the boys!

Yet its amongst women where this societal slut shaming is still pervasive, and a woman can still be alienated by her peers if she’s open about having one night stands or a high sex drive etc.

Where did we start to turn against each other?
Why are we collectively threatened by another women’s sexual prowess?

In sexual assault cases what the victim was wearing is often called into account.

Think you’ve never slut shamed? Think again…
“Did ya see the antics of your wan on love island”
“Did you hear who slept with so & so”
“She’s asking for it dressed like that”
“Sluuuuuut”

It’s been over 21 years since Monica lewinsky was the most googled woman on planet earth. Her mother had her shower with the bathroom door open in case she finally decided to die from the public’s shame campaign.
Slane girl in 2017 were a young girl giving fellatio to two young men went viral, ended up with the hospitalization for her breakdown.

A lesbian couple were recently viciously assaulted on a bus in England as they refused to endure lewd comments from a group of males.

Once we as women stray from the scripted ideals of how we are supposed to act, feel and love brings down a heavy condemnation……from other women.

We need to look at our attitudes to female pleasure. It feels as if we are stuck in the same puritanical patriarchal values that keep us fighting amongst ourselves.

I’m no fan of outrage culture. In these times of click & share. Twitter is alive with faceless trolls hiding behind blue screens tweeting the vilest poison humanity can dredge up. Cancel culture directs millions to unsubscribe & publicity drag an individual’s character across a million timelines, in many cases without substantiation. We are becoming desensitized.
Empathy & kindness.
Acceptance & tolerance
Think before you comment or post (or re-share!).
There can be fatal consequences for the victims of slut shaming. As a society we need to move toward embracing our sexuality & sensuality.
I wish you all many wonderful orgasms with whatever & whoever & wherever the moment takes you….

©️Fiona Ní Mhuirri

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By Fiona Faery

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