26 February, 2020 10:33

Shit things happen in life.
You get dumped.
You get a diagnosis.
You are made redundant.
You get fired.
You are betrayed.
You are lied to.
You get bullied.
You fail.
You get turned down.

Often, it’s out of the blue.
On a rainy Tuesday, you’re thinking what you’ll have for dinner later & BAM….comes that phone call / text message that will change your life. We all react differently.
Some of us crumble completely.
Some adopt a stoic acceptance of their fate.
Some get proactive and educate themselves on their rights, options & facts on their situation. Some get mad.
Some seek revenge.
When life strikes, we can feel completely overwhelmed by sadness. A part of ourselves wants to hop in a time machine & go back to that time BC..(before the crisis!).
As we know deep in our hearts that a lighter part of ourselves will not be resurfacing for some time, as the human brain rushes to protect itself from the onset of severe anxiety , stress, anger, loneliness & fear that’s about to assault it over the next few months. As you try to grapple with the realisation that this is now your life. It is happening to you , not to other people…this is your real living nightmare. There is no waking up. This must be lived through.
It is during these times we need support. Sadly, in a lot of cases the ones who should be giving the support, are the ones that have caused the damage!!!
For the ‘fortunate’ few who’s loved ones haven’t stabbed them in the back, it is essential you lean on them, ask for help & allow yourself to be surrounded by love.
For the betrayed, seek therapy , connect with friends. Protect your mental health at all costs. You need to get grounded, as the world around you is spinning.
Boring basic stuff really makes a big difference. Exercise, even if it’s a 20 minute walk can help lighten your mood. Drinking water can give your thoughts more clarity. Getting to bed early, will help you get a sense of routine & order in your life. Keep talking.
It really does help.
Anger can also be a really constructive force. Too much and it rages like a bush fire destroying everything in its path, but just the right amount has incredible restorative capabilities. For example rage cleaning your house and donating your cheating exe’s clothes to the nearest charity are fantastic ways of taking your power back! I don’t advocate donating all Your exes clothes to charity…..but you catch my drift!!!!!
Anger when channeled correctly can become a force of positive change. When we become angry with our government, we use our vote , we protest, we rally & before you know it…a movement has started. Don’t believe me? Just ask one angry teenager called Greta Thunberg. Her rallying cry resonated with millions of us that were sick of the sycophants.
We took to the streets in our millions…..all because of one girls angst for the planet.
Developing cognitive coping mechanisms during this time are also incredibly helpful. Seeing a good therapist can help identify destructive thoughts patterns & spot your triggers. Taking care of your physical health & diet can help educate you to self destructive behaviours around food & fitness.
Joining a support group can give reassurance. Forming a new routine or making new friends can help rebuild their pieces of your shattered self. You are not alone.
It may feel like it, but trust me somewhere In the universe is another poor sod being dealt the exact same blow. You are in transition.
This state is temporary.
The power is in your hands and the only person who gets to dictate how your next chapter is written is you….

©️Fiona Ní Mhuirri

By Fiona Faery

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