Fiona I’m 40 I’ve given up on love at this point in my life…..He sat across from me with a resigned expression on his face. This handsome intelligent man had completely written himself off from love because of his demographic.
Seeing my expression ( I will never be a poker player!), he corrected himself to say..”You know what I mean- at my age if you haven’t met anyone by now you’re not likely to”.
There are times I feel as old as Methuselah….I feel like a parrot trying to repeat the power of intention & the negative repetitious cycles we INVITE into our lives. This particular client has been with me over the years and I could feel his weariness. I’ve seen him in relationships and out of relationships. There are no guarantees. Free will is a gift we have all been blessed with. Even if you see two people that are perfect for each other , if one hasn’t learned their soul lesson, they can exercise their free will & run in the opposite direction. Leaving the other scratching their head wondering what just happened.
I’ve seen couples perfect for each other but one bolting at the last minute as they simply were not ready for a commitment on any level.
Relationships are hard work. It takes two people who want to be together. Who actively work at being a couple. It should not be one-sided & end up with one person making all the effort.
If you’ve ever fallen in love with a wounded soul you will know EXACTLY what this feels like as you struggle to carry the burden of another’s issues on your shoulders; trying to prove your worthiness, as if by showing how compassionate you are they will finally trust again.
It’s a dangerous cycle to get out off.
Coming out of relationships you are vulnerable. Sadly, this is where you can fall straight into a sociopathic toxic relationship that can really do long term damage.
The worst expression I’ve ever heard is” To get over one man- you need to get under another”.
The energy we emit when we are going through a break up is one of loss. Issues of shame, rejection, anger & sorrow mixed with a dollop of self loathing for good measure.
This negative “intention”, as all thoughts carry energy; sends a frequency out into the world. This unconscious signal attracts complete manipulative low life’s into your energy field. The type of characters that if you were in your power & not in the throes of a break up – you’d run a mile from!
(Ever look back thinking- What was I on???)
Therefore, it’s vital you be single for a few months. Surround yourself with loving support, make plans , take a hiatus from social media – which is the most toxic form of passive aggressive warfare post break-up. Get out & get active. Take a course – do charity work.
Break the rut…..
Misery loves company. Sinking into victimhood requires no effort.
Getting off your backside however, does!
Anyways, I want to shake him!
He has an answer for everything I say. He even goes as far to say” Fiona I’m coming to you years & I will come to you in another 2 years and you will say the same thing!”
This is where I have to resist the urge to get violent!!! I’d love to say – yes you bloody have & yes I’ve seen relationships come & go but I’m not Yoda! I do not possess a magic wand that sees you skip into the sunset because real life is bloody hard & there are no guarantees. The one thing I’m certain of is that you can’t give up on love. Learn the lesson but move on from the hurt. Don’t get caught in the blame game.
Keep an open mind.
Not an invisible check list of set criteria your soul mate must fill.
Tall dark handsome rich….
What if he’s short- bald – recently lost his job but the sexiest kindest man you’ve ever met?
Vice-versa for those of you who love sexy bald guys…(you know who you are!!!)
Stop looking in the same places for a potential mate. Mix it up. Go somewhere new for a change.
The major issues I see facing most singles is finding a decent place to meet up. Trial & error is the only way I’m afraid. Get out have fun. Enjoy yourself. Don’t get too caught up in the virtual world of dating. The cat fish phenomenon is alive & well on Facebook as false profile are common place. Skype – meet for coffee- FLIRT! It’s so much fun!
The fear of being hurt keeps us in the dark. Fear of rejection, keeps us silent.
What have you truly got to lose?
For once you know where you stand you’re either got a yes or a no!
If it’s a yes- yipee!
If no -then you can move on and not be strung along & read into every tiny detail. For hours. On end!
Your energy can be channeled more positively than wasted on someone who does not deserve your tears or time for that matter.
Off he went out the door.
I wanted to run after him. Tell him some woman was going to make him laugh & love him more than he would ever know, he just needed to believe in love. For it would find him.
For truly it is when we believe we are worthy of love that the universe will seek to prove you right….
©Fiona Ní Mhuirri
Sent from my iPad